A Pathetic Lament: The Splint

If you read my previous post, you know that I'm dealing with some ankle issues that could result in orthopedic surgery. As much as I prefer to blog about things like cupcakes and DIY projects, I think it'll be good for me to blog about what I'm feeling through all of this. I'm a healthcare professional and I've had several family members experience significant health issues - you'd think this would give me some perspective on the matter and I could get over something this petty. The fact of the matter is that I, myself, have never dealt with anything like this personally and I'm not quite sure how to cope with it. I'll still have my usual fun posts, but I feel like I just need to get all of this off my chest. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll end up talking about it non-stop in my every day life, and no one likes to be around that person.

So, I received The Splint earlier this week. I've decided to capitalize The Splint, by the way, because of all the hope I have invested in it. If wearing a splint for a month cures a decade-old injury, I won't need surgery. If not, I'll face the cold steel and warm lights of the OR for the first time in my life...and I'll be out of work for at least two months. No pressure, right?

Anyway, I hate The Splint. It's just really uncomfortable. This wouldn't really be a big deal, since I'm currently avoiding so many activities (I'm not allowed to dance, run, swim, hike, or do yoga while we're trying this thing out. I was told I could ride a bike, but I tried it and it was awkward). The problem is that I don't have a desk job. I'm a physical therapist, and I primarily see neurorehab patients. I do stuff like this all day:

{by Stroke Survivor Blog / via YouTube}

This video isn't ideal, mostly because the patient's cane is a bit too tall and his left arm should really be in a sling (so much so that it's making me nervous), but you get the idea. I'm on my feet all day. Sometimes I have to squat down to facilitate and cue muscles to activate, sometimes I'm holding onto a patient to guard them while practicing an activity, sometimes I even have to stabilize them to prevent them from falling. I work four 10-hour days, so I do this for about eight or nine of those hours. I wouldn't have it any other way, because neurorehab is what I'm passionate about; however, The Splint makes this excruciatingly difficult.

I received The Splint Monday afternoon. Monday evening, I went to the movies with my husband. We saw Five Year Engagement, Jason Segal was adorable, I got to sit, and aside from waddling to and from the car, I had a great time. Tuesday was my first full day wearing The Splint, and it was a 10-hour work day. By the end of the day, I was nearly in tears. Wearing a sock, followed by The Splint, followed by a sneaker made for a very tight squeeze, and the top of my foot was bruised from the pressure. Ice and Aleve helped, but I ended up tying it a little looser before going to bed.

This led to a complete downward spiral of worry. If it's too loose, is it not going to be effective? The entire intent of The Splint is to prevent movement, but it's too painful by the end of the day when it's that restricted. If it's this uncomfortable with prolonged weightbearing, how am I supposed to do my job? Could I be putting a patient's safety in jeopardy if I'm not at my physical best? Is the rigidity of The Splint causing so much immobility in my ankle muscles that I'm going to atrophy? How the eff am I supposed to sleep with this dang thing on when sleep is an essential part of healing?!

Aside from work, I am able to avoid prolonged weightbearing and excessive walking for the most part; however, I'm going to New York in two weeks for my sister's graduation. This trip will undoubtedly require a great deal of walking. Here's my issue with walking: ankle movement is an important part of the gait cycle. This is what your ankle does while you walk:

{by Rose, J., Gamble, J. (1994). Human Walking (2nd ed.).

Baltimore, MD: Williams and Wilkins. / via UTPA}

When one part of the body isn't working the way it's supposed to, we develop compensatory mechanisms in order to make up for it. So, since my ankle is locked in a neutral position, I feel like I'm walking like this:

{by the geniuses that make up Monty Python / via ervingeky}

You'd think this is a simple issue of vanity, but I'm not actually that concerned about what my gait pattern looks like. I'm concerned that inevitably, these compensatory mechanisms will lead to additional injuries. My left leg is already sore from working in a manner in which it's not accustomed to. So now I've got the original ankle pain, some leg soreness, and some pain from the pressure of The Splint. 

On the other hand, my ankle hasn't made that disgusting popping noise since I started wearing this awful thing. That silence may be the glimmer of hope that gets me through this month.