Freeky Friday: Get Happy

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Welcome back to another Freeky Friday! Today's topic is:

When are you most happy?

I have a bucket list of things I need to do in my current neighborhood before moving to the suburbs. One of the highest priorities on this list was visiting Drepung Loseling Monastery, a Tibetan Buddhist center near my apartment.

Mandalas are so amazing.

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Emory University, one of my alma maters, has a close relationship with Tibet. In fact, His Holiness the Dalai Lama visits Emory every other year. It's not so much a religious thing; it's about bridging humanity between two of the world's leaders in science of the mind and body. Many physicians at Emory have written about the role of meditation in psychiatry. Some even argue that meditation can alter the very neuroanatomy within our brains.

To me, the idea that we have the power to control our own neurotransmitters to create a happier, more peaceful version of ourselves is absolutely incredible. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe meditation is a substitute for modern medicine. Plenty of my patients have psychological comorbidities (in addition to the laundry lists of diagnoses I'm treating them for), and many of them need medication to even out a physiological imbalance. However, I don't believe that psychological disorders can be treated by medication alone. I'm a firm believer in supplementing medication with counseling, and meditation can play a very effective role in counseling.

I wanted to visit this Buddhist monastery because they offer meditation classes. I'm Jewish, and I had no intention of worshiping of any sort; but I was very interested in learning about the philosophy that was practiced within this culture. I attended a meditation class with a friend. She happens to work in psychiatry and, in an effort to practice what she preaches, she attends this class regularly.

Meditation typically intimidates me. I hate that part at the end of yoga where we just lie there...I fall asleep and then I feel like an idiot! I was much more comfortable in this setting because 1) my friend was there and, 2) the meditation was guided. First, our teacher gave a lecture for about 30-40 minutes. Then, he guided us in a 10-20 minute meditation. I left feeling more relaxed than I was when I had arrived, similar to that post-massage feeling.

The reason I bring up this particular recent experience for this post is because the topic of that class' lecture was "happiness." The teacher began the lecture by asking, "Why are we here on this Earth? What is our purpose?" And then he answered very matter-of-fact, "To be happy." I'd never heard anyone answer such powerful questions with such certainty, but it makes sense if you think about it. It's something that all of us desire, no matter our intelligence, culture, or socioeconomic status. It's what separates us from other species, and it's what drives us towards making our world a better place.

He spoke about how we can't always be happy. Stress, frustration, anxiety, even anger are inevitabilities - but it's what we do with it. He said that you can't make them go away by buying things or eating things or even praying to God or Buddha or whoever. He said that the only thing that can make these things better is compassion, compassion towards yourself and compassion towards others. The concept of "compassion towards yourself" really struck a chord with me. I'm incredibly hard on myself, and sometimes it can really weigh me down.

We then meditated on everything that caused frustration or anxiety in our lives. Then we thought about how we could show compassion towards each of those things, people, or events. Then we did the same with the things that caused anger. I appreciated how frustration/anxiety and anger were on different levels of depth. Then, we thought about compassion again. I thought really hard about each of the stressors in my life. Rather than analyzing them and trying to explain them, I tried to understand where they were coming from. I tried to feel empathy towards them. As I let go of some anger and some stress, I felt more relaxed and therefore more happy. Throughout the next few days, I made a conscious effort to show more compassion towards others. It felt good. That class was a lot more effective than I had anticipated.

Basically, the teacher taught us that happiness isn't something you find; it's something you create by taking accountability and responsibility for yourself and your own actions and feelings. I suppose if I had written this blog post a week ago, I would have said that I'm happiest when things go my way, or when something new and exciting happens. Sure, that's true. But if you're stuck in a funk, what good are those things?! The truth is, I'm most happy when I'm happy with myself.

What about you? When are you most happy?

Remember, anyone can get Freeky on Fridays! You can participate in three different ways:

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Every time you post, tweet or comment in the month of August, you'll be entered to win some homemade cookies and a contribution to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in your name. There are still two Fridays left in August, so you can be entered to win another six times!

As we say goodbye to summer, we like to bring things full circle. Come back next Friday, August 26th, for summer's last Freeky Friday and reminisce with us:

What was the best thing that happened to you this summer?